Thanks God

At school today almost everyone was dead. I don't know if it was the weather or what but no one had any energy what so ever. After I got to mi casa I was thinking about me & God. I have the desire to be just like Christ but I only take the most necessary steps to get to Him. For the past few weeks I haven't been on fire like I used to be. For instance...today at softball we had a team meeting to discuss some hard feelings between team members, and I asked if I could close the meeting in prayer. I was being sincere but it just felt fake, like no one was taking me serious. I don't know why that affected me but it did. I know that the devil is trying to get me down but I am determined not to let him. The prayer that I always have is "God, please be real to me. Consume me. Break me down. Bend me to Your will. Guide every aspect of my life. I love You." I'm sick of just going through the motions. I want to get to the point where Paul was at. I want to be willing to die for my faith. I want to STOP living for this horrible world && only live for my Jesus. Sometimes my mind is so pessimistic that I only focus on the bad things in my life. That is stopping right now. I have so much to be thankful for. Here are just a few: God has blessed me with An amazing mother, a loving father, great grandparents, awesome cousins, a fantabulous Youth Pastor (& wife), a rock of a house, a great chance for education, tons of food, lots of love, the smartness to not do drugs or alkeyhall, && a Savior aka Wonder Counselor. Wow. What else can I say. Jesus is amazing & he is all I need. Please pray that I will sincerely seek Him in all that I do.

I Get Down, He Lifts Me Up

Today was bitter sweet. I got to sleep in (kind of) because its Spring Break!! yeah...so that was great. Then I read a few chapters in a really good book. Then I had to go to softball practice...this was when the devil started pestering me. I started off this year playing short-stop. I thought that I was doing pretty well but Arel took my spot. She has been playing the sport longer than I have & our coach is new this year so he didn't really know where to put everyone. Apparently she is better than me at playing the position. About a week ago, when this happened I was upset. I didn't think it was fair that she took my spot. I began talking to Jesus about it & I saw how foolish I was. Life is too short for me to be sorry for myself. I realized that God has a master plan & I'm pretty sure this "tiff" was in it so that I could come closer to Jesus. Okay...so I rambled off that to tell u that I'm okay with Arel playing short now. :D About today at practice. I'm all pumped up to get to hit when we scrimage because that's what I am now (designated hitter). I pretty much tell myself I'm going to hit it to the fence. But both of the times I'm up to bat I barely get a hit & I get out. This bummed me out because batting is supposed to be my strength. So I'm all upset for this dumb reason when the end of practice comes. We run our bases like every practice & when coach tells me to stick on 2nd I totally miss the bag. He hollers at me & I pretty much give up on life. I can't field well anymore, I cannot bat well either, & to top it off I can't run the stinking bases without messing up. So I'm waiting for my nana to pick me up...& I look up at the sky. I started talking it over with Jesus and BOOM...it hits me. Here I am being sorry for myself all over again. Something Ricky said a while back came to my mind. We can't be God's light if we are only worried about ourselves. (something like that) How was I supposed to be a good witness to those girls on my team by pouting around. God also showed me that this life is so much greater than one lousy practice that I have. Softball is not the reason I'm on this earth. My job is to love God, be loved by Him, and help lead others to His kingdom. Wow. Thank You Jesus.

Update

Today was good. It goes so much smoother when I talk to God first thing in the morning. :D Well guys, we won our second softball game today!!! By 15 I might add. I didn't play short-stop though. That's okay. Arel is good at the position. I was DH though & I got three runs. A single, triple & homerun!!! I was pretty syked. Right now I'm watching New Amsterdam on TV (I love it) & im about to go stir my macarroni & cheese. Well, that's about it. Oh, I cannot wait until Wednesday :D True Love Waits is awesome. I really wanna sign that pledge thingi & get a ring!!! Sex is made for marriage...I wish this world would get that through their thick skulls....but they have to be saved in order to want to follow God's word...and so many of them aren't. We really need to get to work. <33 u all. Peace