Thanks God

At school today almost everyone was dead. I don't know if it was the weather or what but no one had any energy what so ever. After I got to mi casa I was thinking about me & God. I have the desire to be just like Christ but I only take the most necessary steps to get to Him. For the past few weeks I haven't been on fire like I used to be. For instance...today at softball we had a team meeting to discuss some hard feelings between team members, and I asked if I could close the meeting in prayer. I was being sincere but it just felt fake, like no one was taking me serious. I don't know why that affected me but it did. I know that the devil is trying to get me down but I am determined not to let him. The prayer that I always have is "God, please be real to me. Consume me. Break me down. Bend me to Your will. Guide every aspect of my life. I love You." I'm sick of just going through the motions. I want to get to the point where Paul was at. I want to be willing to die for my faith. I want to STOP living for this horrible world && only live for my Jesus. Sometimes my mind is so pessimistic that I only focus on the bad things in my life. That is stopping right now. I have so much to be thankful for. Here are just a few: God has blessed me with An amazing mother, a loving father, great grandparents, awesome cousins, a fantabulous Youth Pastor (& wife), a rock of a house, a great chance for education, tons of food, lots of love, the smartness to not do drugs or alkeyhall, && a Savior aka Wonder Counselor. Wow. What else can I say. Jesus is amazing & he is all I need. Please pray that I will sincerely seek Him in all that I do.