Clearly Ambiguous

There are so many different paths to take in life. Different identities to presume. Different fronts used to hide the truth. I saw a middle-aged couple today at a restaurant. By their conversation it was obvious that they were well off. Any normal person would think that they had the perfect life. They spoke of their kids and how, as parents, they were exactly where they wanted to be (relationship wise) with their children. It sounded as if their worlds came straight from a T.V. series. But something was missing. I could just tell. They had everything...almost. Everything except for Jesus, the most important gift of all. I ask myself how people can be so happy if they don't have God & then the answer came. Really, under the makeup, brand-named clothes, & forced conversation, they weren't happy at all. It was a sad revelation. I never want to turn out like that. I'll stay close to my Creator who can eternally satisfy me instead of the world, whose satisfaction is only temporary.

Disclaimer: I don't usually eavesdrop. They were speaking especially loud.

Random Logic

Yesterday I went to Harrison with some friends: Jennifer, Mallory, Bryce, & Adam. We watched Prince Caspian & ate at Taco Bell. It was really fun. I only had a few problems driving. (the intersections & entering into exit only places) Other than that my driving skills were superb. It was weird going somewhere without adults. I felt extremely young for some reason. After the movie we booked it over to Eureka to watch the Passion Play. (Mallory is in it) She played the role of satan. It was very enticing. Everyone in Carroll County should go because it's free for them right now. Summer is officially here. I feel so free. It's the first Summer that Jenn and I can drive. YES! We've got about 6 basketball team camps. That should be fun. I'm reading Exodus right now. I love Moses. He is the man. God is amazing. My life is so peaceful with Him in control. Well, have an amazing Summer & keep Him first!

Ode to the CHEEZ-IT

OH CHEEZ-IT

Oh Baked Snack Cracker

Why must such an addicting bite of bliss be allowed to survive

To intoxicate us with every crunch we take into its cheesy, flaky, salty, bakeyness

100% Real Cheese, Family Size, Bite Size, Jumbo Size, White Cheddar

Oh why???

It must be a sin

It is so enticing & yet it ruins our holy temples

8grams of fat for 27 crackers doesn't scare us away

A huge block of cheddar cheese compressed into one small cracker

The inventor was a genius

If YOU ever have a problem

CHEEZ-IT

P.S. I like Cheez-it's but it's not as serious a problem as my Ode makes it out to be :D

Brief Speech

Today was great! I met with my CAP conference advisor and I'm not going to be able to take two of my four AP classes next year. That's okay though. Being Valedvictorian is something I can live without although it would be nice to claim. Next Monday me and some friends are going to Harrison to watch a movie! I'm so excited. I've never driven anywhere with friends to do something fun...without parents. I know. I'm 16. It's sad but true. :D Thanks goes to my grandparents for letting me use the mini-van. Yay! have a great Wednesday everyone!

P.S. I don't have any more clever titles so I'm going to use oxymoron's from now on. :D

Have you ever...

Hello. Today is amazing. For some reason I have been really happy & giddy since I woke up. My head is full of so much stuff I just don't know what to write about. I've been thinking about so much lately.

Jesus is a really cool guy. Have you ever felt like you are close to Him but then again you are not. Have you ever felt like the time you spend alone with Him is very sincere but when you get around people you feel fake for some reason. Have you ever felt like this world is an immensely confusing place and that you have the answer to everyone's problems but for some reason it's not easy to share. Have you ever felt like you have so much to express to this world yet you hold back. Have you ever doubted your faith? Have you ever felt like your life is amazingly perfect with God in it yet there is something missing?

I've been facing these questions and I would love to tell you right now that I have the answers, but I don't. I think that some of it is Satan getting into my head. Mostly, I think that it's me not giving myself completely to Christ. Why not??? I want to. Don't I??? I can lose myself thinking about all of this or just let Him take care of it. I can doubt or I can trust in God and feel His peace. I'm pretty sure that I'll never be as close to Jesus as I want to be. All I can do is keep seeking His face through His word & maybe some day I'll allow Him to heal me completely. I know I'm saved so my only prayer is that I'll continue to grow closer to him and eventually all of these worldly thoughts and questions will be cleared from my conscience.

Sorry if this blog was confusing. It was to me on so many levels but I needed to get it out.
My advice to you is this: "Don't think too much, the answer to everything is one prayer away."

Sharing is Caring

This week has been GREAT. I finally woke up out of my little trance. I used to pray to God all the time to walk with me during school and let me be a light for Him and just let me have a good day. But I usually wasn't willing to let Him take complete control. My doubt and lack of faith got in the way. I was reading one of the minor prophets and it just hit me. I don't need to worry about anything. God knows the scheme of things and I'm just along for the ride. So, this week I TOTALLY let Him take control. My days are now filled with joy and peace because I don't try to do everything by myself. Something Ricky said really got to me. Paul got lashed, starved, and was imprisioned for his faith yet he still kept working for God. I have the freedom to share Jesus everywhere with no persecution yet I rarely take advantage of it. The thought makes me sick and I question just how much I love Jesus. Is the man who was slaughtered for my sins worth living for??? YES. YES. YES. So, my goal for next week is to not only let Him be in total control, but also to seize every opportunity I have to share His amazing love. <33

Great Feeling

I can't believe that I haven't posted anything since last Sunday. This week has gone by really fast. At school everyone is antsy & ready to get out for Summer. The seniors' last day is Monday. Other than my research paper not much has happenned this past week. Except one thing. A REALLY BIG THING. :D My mom has a friend whom she "hangs" out with a lot. Her name is Kim. Well, Kim has a 9 yr old daughter that I "hang" out with too. We were in my room talking this past Thursday, I think and the subject of Jesus came up. I asked her if she knew Him personally and she said she didn't really know. After asking her some questions I understood that she knew all about Jesus she just hadn't accepted Him yet. I led her through the prayer and told her how one prayer doesn't save you but a change in your heart does. It was stinking awesome. I've never felt so happy before. Please pray for this little girl. Her name is Alina. Peace Out

J.P.

I babysat J.P. yesterday while R&M went to a 5LL seminar. He's a pretty sweet kid. We played guitar hero & I tried to teach him how to "push down the colors" and strum at the same time. It didn't work very well but he did try. The whole time I was there he asked to go outside & play with his ball goal. We passed the ball to eachother inside. He's going to be a baller when he grows up. He didn't cry one time while I was there. :D He did run from me when I asked to put his clothes on. hehe. I love his rambling on about everything && I can't understand him. I layed beside him while he was trying to go to sleep and I would close my eyes. When I peeked at him to see if he was asleep he would be gawking at me & we would both crack up. The whole diaper ordeal wasn't too bad. He only had one bad one. I put it in the kitchen trash can & man was that a mistake. The whole house smelled like poop. So when my mom came to check up on me I put the diaper in a ziploc bag and gave it to her to take home. hehe. I love J.P. I'm glad I got the chance to babysit him. :D

Hero

I have a hero.
For about 6 months I have been writing to a man in the state prison. We talk about my life & some of the stuff he gets to do in jail. We also talk about Jesus. This man inspires me. He's told me of God's love and grace & I can just feel his love for Jesus through the letters he writes. He has a life sentence but He still has hope. The hope that only Jesus Christ can give. He lives everyday in God's will. It makes me so mad to think that some days I go to school and don't speak out for God. I have freedom & the greatest opportunity to tell my lost peers about His saving grace. I pray that God opens up more doors & that I obey Him. & to this guy that I write: Thank You for sharing the source of your hope with me. My eyes are finally open.