In The Courts of Time

I am so sorry that I haven't been blogging for a month but I've been extremely busy. It seems like I have NO down time. My days are filled with three sports, homework, workwork, and church. I can't wait until I get to heaven and there is no time scheme at all! All I get to do is worship God. :D Well, Ive got to go get ready for softball tryouts now so I'll try to blog later. Please pray that my eyes will stay on God & that my true purpose will continue to be the same. Much Love -Jessie

Scavenger Hunt!

Elevate was officially kicked off at 6:00 p.m. yesterday. The food was great & the scavenger hunt was sweet (my team won!) but worship and Ricky's mini message were the best. Earlier on that day I read Matthew 7:21-23...you know, the one about calling on the Lord & Him saying depart from me, I never knew you. That is a scary reality. Well Ricky said something about it in his message and then the verse was brought up two more times in random conversation before the night was over. I used to be unsure about my salvation & I know I would have been one of those people calling on the Lord & getting rejected. But that changed a while back...since I know that He is my righteousness & that we have a real relationship. I feel like God brought that piece of scripture up in my day so many times to show me my calling: Not only to witness to the lost, but clarify the truth to those who believe they are saved.

Recap: Fed from the word, fed from a hotdog, fed from worship, won a neon green shirt that says, "The greatest scavenger hunt your mother has ever seen." It was a definite success.

Some Thoughts

• My brother is here :D
• My sister will be here around midnight & we are going to go to school together!
• School starts in app. 11 hours. AH! I'm excited about what God is going to do in our high school this year.
• I am so blessed

Thank you Lord for putting me in a family that is caring & loving. Please use me this year. I'm done sitting on the sidelines. I'm jumping in!

Fast much?

My accountability partners are Mallory & Jennifer. I love these girls. They are amazing. Together we decided to get ready for the school year by doing a little fasting today. It was only one day but my eyes were opened so much during that time. All three of us spent time praying for our school & the students appointed to tell the lost ones about Christ. We prayed for softened hearts, open minds, & broken spirits. There is a crazy amount of power in prayer...its inconcieveable. We tried to humble ourselves infront of God and seek His face. It is amazing knowing that I have two strong women to help keep me rooted in Christ this year. We are expecting huge changes in our school...changes that are so extreme that they would totally fall through if God wasn't at the center of them. && For this to happen we know we have to give our lives up completely for Him & His will. So, please pray for us & the other students at Berryville High School...pray for radical change, pray for God to set this town on FIRE for Him.

Family

My dear sister Rachel has been having some difficulty deciding whether or not she wants to move back to Berryville. There are many reasons why she should and she shouldn't. I think that she has finally reached a decision. She should be here Saturday. I am so excited. I have seen God work in her life before & it was amazing. She wants to truly seek His face again and I pray that happens when she gets down here.

For those of you who don't know, I have a brother also (Chris). I'm guilty of not talking of him as much as I should. He just turned 20 yesterday and is still trying to figure out what he wants to do in life. Well...I just found out that he may be coming (from Charlotte, NC) to visit my mom and I for three weeks. I am syked. I love him so much & I'm ready for him to see what God has done in my life, & what God has in store for his own life.

I was thinking of these two family members coming back into my life & I realized that it is not a coincidence. God has planned for this to happen. Wednesday, Ricky spoke on Leadership & I asked God to use me for His glory in any leadership position that He might put me into. This is one of them. Although both of my siblings are older than me, I know that they look up to me in some small way. I pray that I can take advantage of this & that God will use me to draw them closer to Himself.

My Righteousness

I know that I just blogged like 30 minutes ago but I just read something that needs to be shared. I was reading this guys blog & he stated so clearly what God has been speaking through Ricky for the past two months or so...Please take time to read it

http://totheword.blogspot.com/2004/11/battle-in-flesh.html

He is my Escape

I was reading through some random scripture today and I came upon one that I hadn't really noticed before, but it really spoke to me.

It is: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. -1 Corinthians 10:13

I can faintly recall Ricky mentioning this verse during one of our Wednesday night services but apparently I didn't think much of it at the time. My favorite part of this verse is "...he will NOT let you be tempted beyond your ability..." I haven't encountered many temptations but I know they will arise later in my life. This verse gives me immense comfort. Our God is so merciful that He will never put us into a situation that we cannot overcome. Thank You Lord

This is definitely one for the memory bank

Two of the Same

Tonight I went to two different church services. I went to my home church first, Southern Heights, & heard Brother Scott preach on growing through circumstances. He is an amazing man of God & is getting better at preaching every time he does it. Russell is a great worship leader...his hearts is in it & he seeks God's face during our worship. It's pure.

Afterwards I drove to Green Forest to my mom's church...Soulpurpose. They were just finishing worship when I walked in. I love this church because God's presence is so evident. Southern Heights is a blessing in my life, but I like a little spice every once in awhile. At Soulpurpose the altars are always filled...during worship, & during the message. Most of the members are "delivered" drug attics and alcoholics. They don't care what anyone thinks. Everyone there allows the Holy Spirit to move. They aren't ashamed to praise the God who saved their souls. It was refreshing.

I pray that my fellow believers at Southern Heights will allow God to truly set us ON FIRE for Him. I pray that God will strip away everyone's pride & leave us broken at His feet. I pray that we will all seek His face in our lives and allow revival to begin. That we won't go to church just to receive the Christian nametag...but that we will go to get closer to Christ & give Him the praise that He so deserves and longs for. He is my righteousness, my portion...I need nothing this world has to offer.

Step Out

About a month ago my mom came home and asked me to do something that I was iffy about. She told me that she had found out about this 23yr. old guy named Jesse through her business and that she wanted us to go visit him. He is the son of one of her clients. She told me that Jesse was quadraplegic. He was involved in a serious auto accident two years ago & is now paralyzed from the neck down (I think). Then she told me that the highlight of his life is when people go visit him. I was so selfish...I let the devil get into my head and tell me it wasn't something I needed to do. My excuse was, "I won't know what to talk about, it will just be akward mom." Looking back on this now I just want to bite my toes off.

I kept putting it off every time my mom would ask. Then I went off to M-Fuge. When I got back and my mom brought up the subject again my whole mindset had changed. I realized that I was the most selfish person in the world, unwilling to step just a little out of my comfort zone for Jesus. Why? Why? God placed this amazing opportunity in front of me to reachout & witness to someone and I just shot Him down. I'm sorry Father.

So I told my mom that I was ready whenever. && that was about two days ago. So please pray for me. Pray that God gives me the right words to say when I do go over there to see him.

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to spread your light. Please totally rip away my comfort zone. As Ricky says, You are my righteousness. I need nothing else.

:/ The End

I tried to blog about M-Fuge for a month straight but the truth is, I only completed about 4 blogs. :( & to tell you the truth I'm getting burnt out on it. Don't get me wrong, M-Fuge changed my life & I loved every single milisecond of it but I think I'm through blogging about it. Here's a little summary: I learned that God has a specific will for my life...missions. & I am so not worthy to be a child of His.-That's pretty much it summed into two sentences...

So the next time I blog, it will be about what is hapenning in my life that day. Sorry if you are disappointed...it is what it is

M-Fuge: Tuesday Worship

Let me start off by saying that Scott, the preacher guy, totally rocked my face off. God spoke loads of blissful info. through him. It was pretty sweet. Okay so...the staff put a lot of emphasis on the reverence of our worship services. Send off & worship were like night and day which was a great thing. There is a time to dance, dance, dance crazy-like for our Lord and then there is a time to totally humble ourselves at His feet & let Him speak to us. Worship was definitely the latter of these two.

He preached out of the book of Ecclesiastes...around the second chapter...verses 1-18 or so. He started off this amazing message with an illustration. He brought out a shovel and told us of a time when he tried to dig to China....obviously it didn't happen. The bible story was of Solomon. The man who had everything...and realized that life was nothing without Christ. NOTHING! This book starts off by saying everything is meaningless...kinda gets ya down until you realize the truthfulness of the statement. Completely MEANINGLESS without Christ. Scott left us with a challenge to stop being mere fans of Jesus Christ, and actually be followers.

This message broke me down. I realized that I was being a fan...and that I was depending on myself too much. I decided to give it ALL to Him. Everything. I give up, I told Him. I don't want my life to be meaningless anymore. I want my life to have substance, and the only way I can get that is through you Lord.

Tuesday Worship = Changed lifestyle for Jessie :D

M-Fuge: Day Two

This was the first official day of M-Fuge. Its was the first day that we went to site. Since I was chosen to be in Social, the sites that I was assigned to varied. On this particular day we went to the local Food Bank. This puppy was GINORMOUS. When we got there we went into the break room and Bret, the manager, explained what the organization was all about and what we were going to do to help. The Food Bank is an outreach used to feed hungry families all over the St. Louis area. Our job was to assemble the boxes that were to be given away. We were on a miniature assembly line and every person had a specific job. Mine was to put two HUGE cans of tomato juice in the far corners of these card board boxes. (Note: I went into this camp hating tomatos and nothing has changed since I've come out.) Besides the fact that my hands were a mite sore, this was fun. I was next to two guys named Clayton & James the whole day...they were pretty stinkin amazing. Anywho...It's amazing how God works behind the scenes. I got to experience one way He does this. Through Food Banks. I was truly blessed, and I didn't think the day could get any better-Then worship started and I could see that God wasn't quite done with me yet...

M-Fuge: Day One

...when we pulled into the parking lot some of the staffers were there waiting on us. Brandon had made a sign that said "The Heights", and we got to break through it with our haus of a van. These guys were totally prepared for the week. It was so organized. We got off the van and went to registration. The adults disappeared somewhere while we chose our tracks. My first choice was Social, then games & rec, then children. We then unpacked & hit the local Target before supper. After supper we went to our first worship service which was amazing. This was when God started dealing with me about being in the mission field. Scott's message made me realize that I was being a fan, not a follower of Jesus. I knew that I wasn't spreading the word enough. Then we went to our track groups. I got my first choice: Social a.k.a. Guinea!!! We went to our room and familiarized ourselves and began to prepare for the week. Here's a shout out to Meredith...our group leader. She made us all feel so comfortable. We were practly like a family before we left that room two hours later. This was the first day of M-Fuge && I could feel God working in my life already. But I had no idea how much was in store for me before the week was over.

M-Fuge Begins: The Trip Over

Let me start off by saying that Ricky likes being early for everything. This is just a speculation that I made since we were the first church to show up at M-Fuge. (Although later in the week he was late for worship...but he'll tell you all about that in his blog). Anyhow...getting up before 6 was totally worth it because our church group had some definite "bondage" time on the way over. We may have been on the brink of unconciousness but we were united as one. Savannah is the one who I got to know better on our way there. I now know that she likes to drink Naked, she enjoys listening to Paramore, and she IS able to survive without her cell phone. I love her. Well...we got to St. Louis around hmmm....11:30 maybe? I don't remember. When we pulled into the parking lot something AMAZING hapenned,....TO BE CONTINUED

The Beginning of Something Great

I was told by a certain someone that I needed to blog everyday for the next month about my experiences at M-Fuge. So, I'm going to give it my best shot. I guess this is the introductory to my series of M-Fuge blogs. Its 11:45p.m. so I'm not going to go into great detail tonight but prepare yourself for some deep thoughts in my later blogs. I'll end this short introduction by saying that God has reached down and picked me up. I've finally found complete rest in His arms.


My life is nothing

Lesson Learned

I had a spiritual moment last night. I was just laying in my bed praying for one of my friends when I started crying. It's the second time in my life when I REALLY felt the presence of God. That never happenned when I would pray for myself or things that would profit me...only when I was pleading for God to work in someone else's life. It was unexplainable.

MumboJumbo

Everyday we wake up into this same world and do the same things over and over and over....It gets boring always knowing what is next. I'm tired of the same old same old. I pray that God does something radical in my life. Suspense would be nice for once. I want to be the person who is ridiculed and thought weird for how crazy I am about Christ. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs with worship.... Some of it comes out on occasion but that's not enough. What do I want to do with my life? I'm not sure...maybe go into the ministry...go over seas. Do a "normal" job??? hmmm....What I do know is that I'm only passing through. I'm a traveler...and I don't need to cling to any earthly posessions, just work for my eternal prize. I'm also an athlete. I need to run the race like only one person can win, can get through the narrow gate. I wanna leave you with one thought...from the mouth of Wes.
It's not what YOU do that get's you through that narrow gate, but what He has DONE.

Terribly Enjoyable

Hey guys. I am going to be in Pre-AP English III next year which means I was assigned summer reading. Woohoo! 4 Books...here they are:

1. Animal Farm
2. A Raisin in the Sun
3. Fahrenheit 451
4. The Great Gatsby

As of right now I have finished the first two on my list. I am reading F. 451 now. The first two books were okay. I understood most of the symbolism and deep themes but there were a few crucial underlying points in the novels that I'm pretty sure I totally missed out on. The one I'm reading now is really good. There are some really life changing paragraphs in it. I just love it. It's hard for me to believe that I'm actually enjoying this summer torture. I thought that I would copy one of the sentences that hit me. I hope this isn't against the law.

• She had a very thin face like the dial of a small clock seen faintly in a dark room in the middle of a night when you waken to see the time and see the clock telling you the hour and the minute and the second, with a white silence and a glowing, all certainty and knowing what it had to tell of the night passing swiftly on toward further darknesses, but moving also toward a new sun.

So...I was thinking about how much I liked the intensity of this book when BAMMM- out of nowhere God spoke to me. Jessie, WHY are you so excited about this one fiction novel??? Why don't you put this much passion and emphasis into my Word? The guideline for your life.

It's true. I'm not near as excited about reading the word of God as I am a novel that will fade away. Conviction: it's sad & shameful, yet beautiful at the same time. A break-through. Thank you Lord for showing me what is most important in my life.

Now Then

I haven't blogged in a long time. Summer is always a busy time for me but I have never felt closer to Christ then I do right now. He just keeps drawing me closer. Here are some things that have gone down since I last wrote.

• That "relationship" ended.
• We played 7 basketball games in 3 days. We went 0-7....
• I've been spending a lot of time with Jenn. We are growing even closer.
• My sisters came down from Illinois.
• I went to SDC...two days in a row.
• God spoke really loudly through Ricky last night.
• His message got Rach to thinking. Rachel and I spent the night at Jenn's house & we got to tie down her salvation.
• I have never felt so peaceful.

Normal Deviation

1. I'm officially in a new relationship. This is totally new to me. I've never had a "real" boyfriend. A few months ago, during TLW, I made a committment to myself & God to not date until I found a guy who was closer to Him than I was. I've found him. The guy (I'm not going to give his name) is really sweet && he is in love with The Lord. I don't know how this is going to pan out...I guess only time will tell. But one thing is for sure. If this relationship takes my focus away from God at any point it will end. That is the last thing that I want to happen. I need to PROVE my faith & I think that me & this guy will be able to help eachother do just that.

2. My grandparents are in N.C. : ( I miss them a lot.

3. Sleepover tonight at Mallory's house! I get to be in the Passion Play!!!

4. Did women paint their toenails in biblical times? Oh well. No one will be able to see from that far away anyhow.

Definite Maybe

I ate lunch with a friend today.
I really hope that I helped him.
I know he'll be okay.
Moving is a hard ordeal.
I wish he would take my advice
& seek after his Savior.

Clearly Ambiguous

There are so many different paths to take in life. Different identities to presume. Different fronts used to hide the truth. I saw a middle-aged couple today at a restaurant. By their conversation it was obvious that they were well off. Any normal person would think that they had the perfect life. They spoke of their kids and how, as parents, they were exactly where they wanted to be (relationship wise) with their children. It sounded as if their worlds came straight from a T.V. series. But something was missing. I could just tell. They had everything...almost. Everything except for Jesus, the most important gift of all. I ask myself how people can be so happy if they don't have God & then the answer came. Really, under the makeup, brand-named clothes, & forced conversation, they weren't happy at all. It was a sad revelation. I never want to turn out like that. I'll stay close to my Creator who can eternally satisfy me instead of the world, whose satisfaction is only temporary.

Disclaimer: I don't usually eavesdrop. They were speaking especially loud.

Random Logic

Yesterday I went to Harrison with some friends: Jennifer, Mallory, Bryce, & Adam. We watched Prince Caspian & ate at Taco Bell. It was really fun. I only had a few problems driving. (the intersections & entering into exit only places) Other than that my driving skills were superb. It was weird going somewhere without adults. I felt extremely young for some reason. After the movie we booked it over to Eureka to watch the Passion Play. (Mallory is in it) She played the role of satan. It was very enticing. Everyone in Carroll County should go because it's free for them right now. Summer is officially here. I feel so free. It's the first Summer that Jenn and I can drive. YES! We've got about 6 basketball team camps. That should be fun. I'm reading Exodus right now. I love Moses. He is the man. God is amazing. My life is so peaceful with Him in control. Well, have an amazing Summer & keep Him first!

Ode to the CHEEZ-IT

OH CHEEZ-IT

Oh Baked Snack Cracker

Why must such an addicting bite of bliss be allowed to survive

To intoxicate us with every crunch we take into its cheesy, flaky, salty, bakeyness

100% Real Cheese, Family Size, Bite Size, Jumbo Size, White Cheddar

Oh why???

It must be a sin

It is so enticing & yet it ruins our holy temples

8grams of fat for 27 crackers doesn't scare us away

A huge block of cheddar cheese compressed into one small cracker

The inventor was a genius

If YOU ever have a problem

CHEEZ-IT

P.S. I like Cheez-it's but it's not as serious a problem as my Ode makes it out to be :D

Brief Speech

Today was great! I met with my CAP conference advisor and I'm not going to be able to take two of my four AP classes next year. That's okay though. Being Valedvictorian is something I can live without although it would be nice to claim. Next Monday me and some friends are going to Harrison to watch a movie! I'm so excited. I've never driven anywhere with friends to do something fun...without parents. I know. I'm 16. It's sad but true. :D Thanks goes to my grandparents for letting me use the mini-van. Yay! have a great Wednesday everyone!

P.S. I don't have any more clever titles so I'm going to use oxymoron's from now on. :D

Have you ever...

Hello. Today is amazing. For some reason I have been really happy & giddy since I woke up. My head is full of so much stuff I just don't know what to write about. I've been thinking about so much lately.

Jesus is a really cool guy. Have you ever felt like you are close to Him but then again you are not. Have you ever felt like the time you spend alone with Him is very sincere but when you get around people you feel fake for some reason. Have you ever felt like this world is an immensely confusing place and that you have the answer to everyone's problems but for some reason it's not easy to share. Have you ever felt like you have so much to express to this world yet you hold back. Have you ever doubted your faith? Have you ever felt like your life is amazingly perfect with God in it yet there is something missing?

I've been facing these questions and I would love to tell you right now that I have the answers, but I don't. I think that some of it is Satan getting into my head. Mostly, I think that it's me not giving myself completely to Christ. Why not??? I want to. Don't I??? I can lose myself thinking about all of this or just let Him take care of it. I can doubt or I can trust in God and feel His peace. I'm pretty sure that I'll never be as close to Jesus as I want to be. All I can do is keep seeking His face through His word & maybe some day I'll allow Him to heal me completely. I know I'm saved so my only prayer is that I'll continue to grow closer to him and eventually all of these worldly thoughts and questions will be cleared from my conscience.

Sorry if this blog was confusing. It was to me on so many levels but I needed to get it out.
My advice to you is this: "Don't think too much, the answer to everything is one prayer away."

Sharing is Caring

This week has been GREAT. I finally woke up out of my little trance. I used to pray to God all the time to walk with me during school and let me be a light for Him and just let me have a good day. But I usually wasn't willing to let Him take complete control. My doubt and lack of faith got in the way. I was reading one of the minor prophets and it just hit me. I don't need to worry about anything. God knows the scheme of things and I'm just along for the ride. So, this week I TOTALLY let Him take control. My days are now filled with joy and peace because I don't try to do everything by myself. Something Ricky said really got to me. Paul got lashed, starved, and was imprisioned for his faith yet he still kept working for God. I have the freedom to share Jesus everywhere with no persecution yet I rarely take advantage of it. The thought makes me sick and I question just how much I love Jesus. Is the man who was slaughtered for my sins worth living for??? YES. YES. YES. So, my goal for next week is to not only let Him be in total control, but also to seize every opportunity I have to share His amazing love. <33

Great Feeling

I can't believe that I haven't posted anything since last Sunday. This week has gone by really fast. At school everyone is antsy & ready to get out for Summer. The seniors' last day is Monday. Other than my research paper not much has happenned this past week. Except one thing. A REALLY BIG THING. :D My mom has a friend whom she "hangs" out with a lot. Her name is Kim. Well, Kim has a 9 yr old daughter that I "hang" out with too. We were in my room talking this past Thursday, I think and the subject of Jesus came up. I asked her if she knew Him personally and she said she didn't really know. After asking her some questions I understood that she knew all about Jesus she just hadn't accepted Him yet. I led her through the prayer and told her how one prayer doesn't save you but a change in your heart does. It was stinking awesome. I've never felt so happy before. Please pray for this little girl. Her name is Alina. Peace Out

J.P.

I babysat J.P. yesterday while R&M went to a 5LL seminar. He's a pretty sweet kid. We played guitar hero & I tried to teach him how to "push down the colors" and strum at the same time. It didn't work very well but he did try. The whole time I was there he asked to go outside & play with his ball goal. We passed the ball to eachother inside. He's going to be a baller when he grows up. He didn't cry one time while I was there. :D He did run from me when I asked to put his clothes on. hehe. I love his rambling on about everything && I can't understand him. I layed beside him while he was trying to go to sleep and I would close my eyes. When I peeked at him to see if he was asleep he would be gawking at me & we would both crack up. The whole diaper ordeal wasn't too bad. He only had one bad one. I put it in the kitchen trash can & man was that a mistake. The whole house smelled like poop. So when my mom came to check up on me I put the diaper in a ziploc bag and gave it to her to take home. hehe. I love J.P. I'm glad I got the chance to babysit him. :D

Hero

I have a hero.
For about 6 months I have been writing to a man in the state prison. We talk about my life & some of the stuff he gets to do in jail. We also talk about Jesus. This man inspires me. He's told me of God's love and grace & I can just feel his love for Jesus through the letters he writes. He has a life sentence but He still has hope. The hope that only Jesus Christ can give. He lives everyday in God's will. It makes me so mad to think that some days I go to school and don't speak out for God. I have freedom & the greatest opportunity to tell my lost peers about His saving grace. I pray that God opens up more doors & that I obey Him. & to this guy that I write: Thank You for sharing the source of your hope with me. My eyes are finally open.

Goodbye Softball;Hello Offseason

Well...today was our first and last game in the district playoffs. We lost 3-13 to Prairie Grove. I evaluate myself after every game. Today I totally deserved an -A even though we got crushed. I only made one or two mistakes at short & I hit the ball all 3 times at bat. :D yes! After the game the seniors & some of the other girls were crying because it was all over...it went by sooo fast. Now I get to look forward to Coach Helder FOREVER...that's not the bad part (because I kinda like him). The bad part is that we aren't allowed to touch a basketball until this summer. Yep...5 weeks of strict, bust your butt Offseason. The girls from softball are so out of shape. I Can't wait. Well on the other hand I've had an amazing week. Ricky, since you are pretty much the only one who reads my blog I'm talking directly to you. Your Friday Blog really hit home. Students say they want to change but they don't let Jesus take over and get it done. They are stuck to the world. I'm guilty of this in some ways too. I was guilty of a little gossiping earlier this week & man was I out of sorts when Wednesday came along. I felt like a hypocrite listening to your message & knowing that I had been in the world that week. But forgiveness is sooo sweet & I know that I grow closer to Jesus when I repent and turn away from sin. The serving people is going good. No one expects you to go out of your way to help them so when you do they wonder why you did it...open door for talking about Him. Well that's about it for now. It's my daddy's birthday so I'm going to his house now.

Research Paper

I haven't had much homework all year. Especially since Christmas Break. Now I have to do this 5 page research paper. It doesn't sound that hard but I haven't been assigned more than 2 essays this year. I'm just out of practice. The project is: research the impact of events that occurred on your date of birth OR your birthday throughout the ages. Blah! I'll get it done sooner or later. I've been looking for something spiritual to get out of this whole ordeal...
Well. I can't wait for church tomorrow night. I've invited two people. I hope they show. :D Besides this new assignment my week has been going great. Jesus makes my life so worth living to the fullest. & my guy problem is solved if you know who I'm talking about. I don't think what I wanted was in God's plan & I've realized that if it is then He'll make it happen in His own time.

Friends

Friends are an amazing gift from God. They support you through the hard times, love you even when you do dumb things, & laugh with you over nothing. This week my Friday night consists of spending the night at Jennifer's house. Mallory & Jenna are here too. We are watching movies. It's great to have something to do on the weekends that won't get you into trouble & is WAY fun. Tomorrow we are going to Silver Dollar City!!! yeah. The best thing about Jennifer is that we share the same faith. She is my accountability partner & although it's hard sometimes to hear the truth, it's what both of us need. If you don't have someone to keep you accountable then you should look into it. It is amazing to be able to talk about Jesus to your friends at school & come up with great witnessing schemes. lol. Right now me & Jenn are "tag teaming" with this one guy. She'll plant a seed & I'll water it & we do it over and over...just encouraging him & telling him of God's love. It's truly amazing to share that type of partnership with one of your friends. I love Jennifer to death. :D One of my favorite verses is this: There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18: 24

That's me & Jenn. <33

God is sufficient

Almost everyone at my school lives in the world. There are a select few that live for Jesus & then a WHOLE LOT that straddle the fence. Many high school students think that doing the wrong thing is fun and that going to church and living for Jesus is boring. I was talking to one guy about this & I was trying to explain that doing the wrong things, although they are "fun", can ruin not only our lifes here on earth but our eternal life with God. He kind of laughed it off and walked away. I hope that the seeds that I plant in highschool actually turn into something. I used to straddle the fence but then I learned that God wants you HOT or COLD. None of this in between junk. Personally, I think that living for Jesus is way more fun than drinking or partaying. (not that ive experienced that) but what could be better than being in the presence of God. my creator, savior & master. Please pray for this one guy in particular that ive been talking to about Jesus. Pray that God open's his eyes and his heart.

Aubree's Birthday Partay!!!

I spent the night with Aubree Saturday night & then we had her party on Sunday. It was really fun! I got to walk on a swinging bridge and I thought that I was going to die. We played American Gladiatior & my team lost but that's okay. The land they have is so beautiful & Aubree's parents are such a blessing. It's just a great family :D God is so alive and at work in their family. When we got to her house (like 30 minutes from Byvlle) [:0] I was at peace. I love the country. God's creation is so amazing. It was like a breath of fresh air...literally. Well, anyhow...we had a lot of fun and I think Aubree enjoyed how it turned out. If you want to see some pictures just go to my facebook page and check them out.

Not Caring is a Good Thing

I do not know why I haven't come to this realization until now, but who stinking cares what people think about you: not me!!! God is AMAZING...and He is the only thing I need. I don't need to impress people or act "cool" all of the time. Be crazy, spontaneous, && a Jesus Freak all of the time!!! Yeah! Witness...tell everyone about your Jesus. I don't want their blood on my hands. How about you? Be yourself. <33 We are only on this earth for about 80 yrs. & no one is going to remember us in a century anyhow. Why go around stressed and self-conscious??? Be Happy :D .Love.Dance.Breathe. The only person I need to make happy is Jesus. Be nice to everyone. Give compliments. Lift people up. Pray. Smile. Break down at Jesus' feet. Just give it all to Him && live your life to it's fullest in His name. This was written for me. I'm not giving everyone a speech on how to live. I love all of you guys.

Thanks God

At school today almost everyone was dead. I don't know if it was the weather or what but no one had any energy what so ever. After I got to mi casa I was thinking about me & God. I have the desire to be just like Christ but I only take the most necessary steps to get to Him. For the past few weeks I haven't been on fire like I used to be. For instance...today at softball we had a team meeting to discuss some hard feelings between team members, and I asked if I could close the meeting in prayer. I was being sincere but it just felt fake, like no one was taking me serious. I don't know why that affected me but it did. I know that the devil is trying to get me down but I am determined not to let him. The prayer that I always have is "God, please be real to me. Consume me. Break me down. Bend me to Your will. Guide every aspect of my life. I love You." I'm sick of just going through the motions. I want to get to the point where Paul was at. I want to be willing to die for my faith. I want to STOP living for this horrible world && only live for my Jesus. Sometimes my mind is so pessimistic that I only focus on the bad things in my life. That is stopping right now. I have so much to be thankful for. Here are just a few: God has blessed me with An amazing mother, a loving father, great grandparents, awesome cousins, a fantabulous Youth Pastor (& wife), a rock of a house, a great chance for education, tons of food, lots of love, the smartness to not do drugs or alkeyhall, && a Savior aka Wonder Counselor. Wow. What else can I say. Jesus is amazing & he is all I need. Please pray that I will sincerely seek Him in all that I do.

My Past

I wrote this a long time ago & thought that I would post it so that you could see how I used to view this world...its really weird to go back and read things from your past...



God...my savior, redeemer, healer, daddy. shouldnt he be right in front of me all the time. RIGHT in front of my face. i should feel that close to him right? sometimes i dont. i feel like im talking to the ceiling, FAITH....i know he's listening, im told that he is.....why dont i feel it. sometimes im on a spiritual high, and other times im dry.......im told, dont wear your emotions on your sleeve, dont trust your emotions because they are always changing. Just keep believing in God....the one who never changes.....WHY do i question this world and the things in it soo much. it should be simple, black and white, but its not. why are people trying to go so into depth to explain and decipher the things of this world when all they need to do is turn to Jesus. Why? all it does is just screw everyone else up and make them question their faith. Why is the word "christian" taken oh soooo for granted now. if anyone is asked what religion they are....they are a christian.....NO YOU ARE NOT. dont say it if it isnt true. Im afraid to use that term because of how some people mis construe it. Yeah, im a christian, and then theyll go party and cuss and gossip and all of that is okay because were sinners....But they wont REPENT. Oh God, help me...see everything in black and white. you are who you are. you are the I AM. We should be the salt of the earth,......we should perserve and sting when we tell the truth...when the world hugs us they should feel Jesus Christ's heart pounding within us.....why is it sooo hard. Are you sure youre saved, are you sure youre going to heaven...is that all you care about, NOT going to hell? do you care about the man who DIED for you? Why...? WWJD.....stop the thoughts the curse words the junk that is ruining our world today. I just want to feel your presence again. i want to love on you........ I want to put out all of my faith and trust in you....its not that we dont have faith, its just that the span it is alive for is so short. so many other things going through my head......everything is blurry, i cant make it out, but i know it is there. devil GET AWAY from me & my town & my family & my friends. GET AWAY. Impress tons of hate into me God. Hate towards evil doings and hate towards things that take me away from you. lord........break me. I hate pride. I love you. PLEASE make it simpler.
Until tomorrow.
-Your daughter

Prom

So guys...Prom was last night. It wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be. It was pretty fun though. I learned that I have no rythm what so ever but dacing was still amazing. I'm dreading being a Junior class officer & actually having to plan the whole ordeal. We are actually contemplating having Prom 2009 at the Basin Park Hotel & having trolleys transport ppl from their cars to the Hotel...tell me what you think. My legs hurt so much after last night from standing and dancing. Then when I went to Prom Promise I fell on my knee & I swear I heard it crack open. : ( My loving youth pastor did nothing but laugh. :D. Prom Promise was really fun. I loved the egg-hunt. I won $100! yeah. Chelsea is my hero for organizing all of that. Jennifer & Shaun were with me all night. We had a blast...kinda. Anywho. I got to bed by 5. I felt like blah. I really feel like my blogs have been inadequate lately. Like I should be writing about passionate things that are of infinite interest. Oh well. More of that later.

Prom 2008: complete

Today's Ten

Ten Random Things That Happened In My Life Today

1. Found out my softball game was cancelled : (
2. Finished all of my homework in school :D
3. Helped Ishita with her English
4. Hugged Aubree (she was feeling sick)
5. Ate Chili & a PB&J
6. Rented two movies from the Red Box Office (Evening & Freedom Writers)
7. Looked up facts about Demons in the Bible
8. Checked my facebook, myspace, & my blogspot
9. Cooked Spaghetti
10. Daily Devotion && read some of my AR book

Tag!!!

Ricky tagged me. Now I must answers these questions or be struck by lightning-I choose the former:
-Where was I ten years ago? I was in second grade playing with my buddies && learning how to add.
-Things on my to-do-list today: Well its after ten so finish updating my blog, read, pet my dog && sleep.
-What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire? Have a heart attack; pay off my mom's house; buy a nice car/new wardrobe; sponsor like 100 children from 3rd world countries (not in that order)
-3 of my bad habits: speaking b4 i think, cheating on school work, making up lame/false excuses about why I have to get off the phone (i hate speaking on the tele)
-5 jobs I've had: student, sister, daughter, grandchild, babysitter
-5 things you don't know about me: I don't know anything about Geography, I'm not into polotics, I love the smell of vic's vapor rub, My ears turn red & i break out b4 every one of my games, && I used to eat country crock butter by the spoonfuls

No one really reads my blogs but I tag Jennifer...

Some Favorite "Saving" Scriptures of Mine

• Romans 3:23: All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
• Romans 6:23: The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
• Acts 16:31:They said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house
• Ephesians 2:8,9:By Grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.
• Romans 10:9,10:If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
• 2nd Corinthians 6:2: I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I helped thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.
• John 20:31: These are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.

I Get Down, He Lifts Me Up

Today was bitter sweet. I got to sleep in (kind of) because its Spring Break!! yeah...so that was great. Then I read a few chapters in a really good book. Then I had to go to softball practice...this was when the devil started pestering me. I started off this year playing short-stop. I thought that I was doing pretty well but Arel took my spot. She has been playing the sport longer than I have & our coach is new this year so he didn't really know where to put everyone. Apparently she is better than me at playing the position. About a week ago, when this happened I was upset. I didn't think it was fair that she took my spot. I began talking to Jesus about it & I saw how foolish I was. Life is too short for me to be sorry for myself. I realized that God has a master plan & I'm pretty sure this "tiff" was in it so that I could come closer to Jesus. Okay...so I rambled off that to tell u that I'm okay with Arel playing short now. :D About today at practice. I'm all pumped up to get to hit when we scrimage because that's what I am now (designated hitter). I pretty much tell myself I'm going to hit it to the fence. But both of the times I'm up to bat I barely get a hit & I get out. This bummed me out because batting is supposed to be my strength. So I'm all upset for this dumb reason when the end of practice comes. We run our bases like every practice & when coach tells me to stick on 2nd I totally miss the bag. He hollers at me & I pretty much give up on life. I can't field well anymore, I cannot bat well either, & to top it off I can't run the stinking bases without messing up. So I'm waiting for my nana to pick me up...& I look up at the sky. I started talking it over with Jesus and BOOM...it hits me. Here I am being sorry for myself all over again. Something Ricky said a while back came to my mind. We can't be God's light if we are only worried about ourselves. (something like that) How was I supposed to be a good witness to those girls on my team by pouting around. God also showed me that this life is so much greater than one lousy practice that I have. Softball is not the reason I'm on this earth. My job is to love God, be loved by Him, and help lead others to His kingdom. Wow. Thank You Jesus.

Resurrection Poem

Jesus came to earth,

To show us how to live,

How to put others first,

How to love and how to give.

Then He set about His work,

That God sent Him to do;

He took our punishment on Himself;

He made us clean and new.

He could have saved Himself,

Calling angels from above,

But He chose to pay our price for sin;

He paid it out of love.

Our Lord died on Good Friday,

But the cross did not destroy

His resurrection on Easter morn

That fills our hearts with joy.

Now we know our earthly death,

Like His, is just a rest.

We'll be forever with HimIn heaven,

where life is best.

So we live our lives for Jesus,

Think of Him in all we do.

Thank you Savior; Thank you Lord.

Help us love like you!

>Church[[TLW]]<

We had our second Wed. night of True Love Waits tonight. It was the night that we signed the cards. I'm glad to get my committment down on paper but I feel like some of the ppl's weren't sincere about it. I don't know though. I'm praying that everyone was. I used to be so into guys. & now that I think back on those times I just want to shoot myself in the foot. Real LOVE is only from God & God is the only one who can create it. He meant for me to be with ONE person & I don't want to disrespect that special future husband of mine by lusting after other guys. What is the point, really? Its just emotions that ppl misinterperut (sp) & then they go too far & they can't get that pure virtue back. Well...I set my boundary tonight. If I ever date again in high school the farthest Ill go is hugging/holding hands. & if my bf doesn't like that idea or tries something then its over. I know its probably easier said than done but with God I know that I can do this. It is God's will for me to wait. I'm just thankful that I've gotten into His word & started attending SHBC before I made the mistake of giving myself away. Ok guys...I guess that's enough for tonight. By the way...I wanna give a shout out to Jennifer McCullough!!! (Its prolly not safe to put ur whole name in here but whatever) She is my best friend & I love her to death!!! She is also my accountability partner so please pray that I take her criticism tactfully :D yeah. okay. My bath water is getting cold...........Peace

Update

Today was good. It goes so much smoother when I talk to God first thing in the morning. :D Well guys, we won our second softball game today!!! By 15 I might add. I didn't play short-stop though. That's okay. Arel is good at the position. I was DH though & I got three runs. A single, triple & homerun!!! I was pretty syked. Right now I'm watching New Amsterdam on TV (I love it) & im about to go stir my macarroni & cheese. Well, that's about it. Oh, I cannot wait until Wednesday :D True Love Waits is awesome. I really wanna sign that pledge thingi & get a ring!!! Sex is made for marriage...I wish this world would get that through their thick skulls....but they have to be saved in order to want to follow God's word...and so many of them aren't. We really need to get to work. <33 u all. Peace

BB: Beginner's Blog

Hey guys. This is my first blog site...ever. I'm pretty excited. I read all of my youth pastor's blogs & had to join. Today was a great day. Truthfully, I woke up feeling like junk. Sometimes it happens...I don't exactly question my faith but I feel discouraged and useless. It sucks. But it always wears off when I go to church...just being in the house of God fills me up. Brother Scott talked about something that really got to me. I can't really remember what it was now though. That's bad. I'm thankful that God never changes...my emotions go up and down but He is always the same. The only one that I can always rely on. We've been growing closer. Before SHBC student ministry I was so lost. But the sad thing was that I didn't know it. I was saved but my relationship with Him was dormant. I chose the world everyday over Him & I thought that reading my bible & having daily quiet times were boring. Now all of that has changed. I get so much out of Ricky's messages & it seems all good but.........I should be doing sooo much more at my school. & i know that i have so much spiritual growing to do. I know it will take time but I am more than willing to do it. I can't wait to get to the point that Ricky, Megan, & Brother Scott are w/ Jesus. :D well...i babble a lot so i apologize for that...until next time.